Dashing through the snow

I hate fuckin christmas
Seems like it s one big have-to-do
Seems like everybody that you meet on the street
Has been singin' halle-fuckin -lujah
Well, the mistletoe on the ceiling really
Makes me wanna do ya

Christmas, it s so hard to find cocaine
Now it seems I can t get outta bed
All those dickheads in their white shirts on my TV
Singin please don t drink and drive
Well, that s pretty good advice
cause ya just might spill your drink

Christmas, it s the time for stealing presents
Out from underneath your neighbor s tree
Look s like little Johnny just won t get his
Teeneage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Well, I d better wear a rubber
cause that turtle might be fertile

Today I think I ll screw my brother s girlfriend
All he ever does is go to work
When he goes downtown to buy the dead bird
who s the fuckin turkey?
I hate fuckin christmas