this is to the...intertwined souls, the hands i've been tryin to hold
and this is to the...love that i lost and all the troubling thoughts of how i got double crossed
and this is to the...divorce i was forced to settle with and the remorse i fought off with metal fists
and this is to the...wet watery kiss i left you with on your porch while i watched your trembling lips

this is to the memory of our early years the first girl i shared feelings with, and it's the realest thing i'd experienced in my short existence i ain't afraid to admit, cuz love is one of the things that doesn't come with an age limit now does it
in fact i'm apt to say we're more keen to feel such things, hopeful dreams lost in a smokescreen of meaningless fucking
touching without touching, candles in the dark, casting shadows on our parents' battles this is for the romantics at heart
it wasn't too long before i held you more than my pen when i wasn't writing songs that went something like...forever and always,
whenever those songs play, i remember empty hallways
where your image that descended from the top floor became an echo
paid the price for those hauntings, i couldn't afford to let go
from a passive debt i'm past the rent? did you know i dreamt about you before we met
remembering our first kiss, it hadn't even happened yet,
recollecting your scent and wasn't given a chance to forget
i guess that's the magic of it
now rehashed subjects see what i wrote on cafe napkins to the public
to get it over and done with, closure hath cometh, shoulders that plummeted from holding these buckets
hold your laughs til i go back to the tunnels of paris where i wrote half of these paragraphs but fuck it

this is to my ten year story, in another decade you better be better prepared for me
the first 4 years you were all ears, then the next six you left me for the next ex and went deaf to my message
so that began my affair with the world abroad
behind the curtain of the other hurtful girls i explored
til i became the monster, turned into the words that i record
pardon me if you've heard it all before

i didn't shake you to hurt you
when you landed on the floor, in a room full of virtue i close my eyes to cancel what i saw
you hand me the first move to the handle of the droor where the frail girl couldn't think to live
i didn't shake you to hurt you
i never planned it before, can't shake off your perfume, can't wash my hands no more
and i'm breakin my curfew but i can't walk i'm standin at the door i hear the wailing of a little kid, and the failure of innocence

it's compromised eyeing the side of the kitchen sink, what you think i just let you cut you cut me cut the bullshit
damn i love the hugs enough to tolerate the way we made eachother crazy making it so tough to operate productively
my self esteem didn't help when i felt ugly, and i figured that's the reason why you wouldn't touch me
my ego does bleed, i shoulda let you test it
and let your arms free to follow through with your domestic slip-up
love is a battle field so lick your shots quick
while i lick my wounds and then resume as an obvious target
infatuations with the past protect my purple heart with a fated picture i had in my shirt pocket

i'm goin out with a bang, in a blaze of glory holes
the anti-hero, and i don't care how many ways the story's told
be careful when these ??? play like drums
and watch what you foolishly say, because my oozie weighs a tongue

it's to the sleepless evenings that i spent next to gravestones
hoping someone from beyond would grab my arm and take me home
i half accepted i'd have to make it alone after feeding everything i had into a payphone
and this it to the rain
that felt like it was made of spit
my parade was an unbreakable chain of ???? trumpets
save the buckets even though they weigh down my walking
you don't know the height of the sink you placed your fork in

you look old (that's what you said)
i feel old (that's what i said)
been through a lot since you been gone, dead, born again, torn to shreds over girls that were porcelain
to cry-baby dolls
when we're allowed to talk again i stopped accepting wake-up calls (that ring true)
i hate the way i fall for everything you do
our fate is flawed that's why i make these break-up songs to sing to you
music's my only psychiatric drug, and you're a pill in human form i'd like to hide under my tongue

kiss the foot that couldn't fit into the slipper of my mouth
their den isn't in your house begging for the benefit of your doubts
when i got kicked out, i played the faithful puppydog
loyal to the lover lost, sitting by your fucking door in utter disbelief
i sucked all of the skin off of my teeth, you pulled away, and let me choke on your invisible leash
you can find me hiding these screams behind my eyelids
she blinded me, with silence

so my air-mail lips blew her a farewell kiss
slinking over the sink, where all the hair gel drips
stairwells dip deep into her mouth where i found a cycle
and ever since then i've been on a downward spiral
this round is final, it's time to recover
cuz it's a porch that some dogs choose to die under

the first song was the break-down
i apologized in round two
this version i'm certain this shit ain't even about you
it's the threewrite.