The Unfortunate Man
Performed by Chad Mitchell Trio
Album: "At The Bitter End"

D G A
There once was a lawyer they called Mr. Clay.
D
He had but two clients and they would not pay.
G A
At last of starvation he grew so afraid,
D
That he courted and married a wealthy old maid.

At the wedding the lawyer made one big mistake,
'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake,
The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed,
But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed.

[Chorus:]
He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate,
very unfortunate man.
Yes, he's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate,
very unfortunate man.

At night in their chamber the lady arose,
And began to prepare to retire and repose,
Her husband stood near her admiring her charms,
That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms.

She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face,
And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace,
The rose on her cheek quickly grew very faint,
And he saw on the towel, 'twas nothing but paint.

[Chorus]

She went to the mirror to take down her hair,
And when she had done so her scalp was all bare,
Said she: "Don't be frightened to see my bald head,
"I'll put on my cap when I get into bed."

She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg,
Then she proceeded to take off her leg,
Her trembling husband got quite a surprise,
When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye.

[Chorus]

[The following verse was not performed by CMT:]
Her husband was biting his quivering lips,
While she removed both her counterfeit hips,
Just then her false nose clattered down to the floor,
And the lawyer ran screaming right out of the door.

Now all you young men who would marry for life,
Be sure to examine your intended wife,
Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes,
And a little bit later got quite a surprise.

[Choru