Oh what a crazy, lazy life
Shotgun wedding to a hooker wife
Down in the sewer, I'm fishin' for a bone
You best tell your daddy that you're not coming home

Chorus:
Ah, go ahead and call me loser
Sell my soul off to the dudes
Tell me that I'll never get paid
At least I got laid, at least I got laid
And though the memories fade away
At least I got laid, at least I got laid

Oh, what a tragic waste of time
Snogging with that model as she chops out a line
Not much to offer, she's nothing to see
Well I thought she was a lesbian, but I think that I'm gay

(Chorus)

Now I know all I need to know
I've had my highs, I've lived my lows
I've gone as far as I can go
Now I'm frozen to the bone

Listen now
At least I got laid, at least I got laid
And though the memories fade away
At least I got laid, at least I got laid

He got laid, she got laid (x4)