I got an allergy, for every pedigree
So I got myself a robot dog in Japanese
But yo he's hard to please, he's always gotta pee
But he never sips a drip the chip is playin' me
The way he plays at ease, it's such a sight to see
He gets more digits than I could inside my wildest dreams
He plays the hoes instead of playin' fetch with me
He sips the toes of Tiffany and Stephanie
That brings up Emily; she was my latest squeeze
A robot dog stole that girl out from under me
Sometimes I wonder why I supply the energy
To my mortal enemy that should be a best friend to me

[Chorus]
Robot Dog! He got tequila outta ???
Robot Dog! He drinks his owner underneath the table
Robot Dog! I'm afraid this dog is fuckin' fatal
I'm about to go prenatal, end up in a baby cradle
Robot Dog, turn him off motherfucker say turn him off
And say
Robot Dog, turn him off motherfucker say turn him off
(Japanese)

He never pays the rent, he kicks me outta bed
Well I'm a piece of ??? dominance
And it's been really tense, I'm feigning impotence
I got a robot dog and haven't gotten any sex
All my pals are fuckin' melancholy malcontents
From Malcolm in the Middle to Malcolm X
He's filet mignon to me, and fuck an alphabet
The motherfucker just left me the consonants
I hold his leash while he gets all the compliments
He gets more attention than a one-eyed elephant
He's in the club, I'm in my car out of my element
In my Honda Element feelin' irrelevant
But it's on like it's Vaughn-comma-Vince
I wanna be gone like I'm Jon Favreau havin' a fit
He's surrounded by chicks rubbin' their D-cup tits
I flip the toilet lid, read a Maxim mag, bust a couple kids

[Chorus]