Marie has bought a gnome
For a man who's a gnome fan
A plonker in a council house
With a fake tan
His face has turned purple
His voice hasn't dropped
He's so much in need
Some walk like they're confident
Whilst others like they've just peed
He tries as hard as he can
To walk like a man
But he don't succeed
He tries to fly like an eagle
Dress like a big king in Africa
He eats lots of Salmon from Sainsbury's
So take it from me
This man he walks like his pants are too tight
(Walks like his pants are too tight)
He stays home all day and watches TV
He only gets up when he wants to go pee
He orders his pizzas
And take-away food
Extra ham, extra cheese
He drinks in the local
They call him a freak
He smells of pig swill
His pants they are so tight
That he sings like Jimmy Somerville
He tries as hard as he can
To walk like a man
But he don't succeed
He tries to fly like an eagle
Dress like a big king in Africa
He eats lots of Salmon from Sainsbury's
So take it from me
This man he walks like his pants are too tight
(He walks like his pants are too tight)
(as Jimmy Somerville) Don't leave me this way
(as Jimmy Somerville) Oh don't leave me this way
(as Jimmy Somerville) Oh, don't ...
(as Jimmy Somerville) leave me this way ...