Vanessa's TV show, well it has been axed
She'll now sport a horrible frown
The beeb have axed her show, but the funny thing is
That unlike her weight, the figures went down

Vanessa tried hard to make her show look good
She was always in a happy mood
But at least she has more time to enjoy her life
Watching tele and eating lots of food

Vanessa, Vanessa yeah
Oh dear, oh dear
Better go and find a new job
Vanessa, Vanessa yeah
Oh dear, oh dear
Better go and find a new job

Vanessa's show is gone, it's a terrible shame
She always looked good and was classy
The BBC have worked out how to replace her
They'll bring back some repeats of Lassie

Vanessa, Vanessa yeah
Oh dear, oh dear
Better go and find a new job
Vanessa, Vanessa yeah
Oh dear, oh dear
Better go and find a new job

The talk show is gone she'll never be Russell Harty
'Cause she had less viewers than Noel's House Party

Vanessa's TV show, well it has been axed
She'll now sport a horrible frown
The beeb have axed her show, but the funny thing is
That unlike her weight, the figures went down